What to do with leftovers..

So I had a bunch of leftovers from the girlies visit and had no desire to run to the market period, for ANYTHING.. So I took the leftover chili, and added a cup of rice and turkey burger with some taco seasoning, and stuffed them into red pepper halves, took the leftover mashed potatoes from the meatloaf cupcakes and added 1/2 c. fresh shredded Parmesan cheese and chives and made them into lovely little potato cakes, and fried them on each side until golden brown. 

The green beans were done from an idea I found on Pinterest. They turned out so yummy.. The whole meal was raved about, which always make a cook smile.

Balsamic and roasted Green beans and mushrooms:

 8 oz. mushrooms, sliced in 1/2 inch slices (I used brown crimini mushrooms, but any mushrooms will work)
1 lb. fresh green beans, preferably thin French style beans
1 1/2 T olive oil
1 T balsamic vinegar
salt and fresh ground black pepper to taste
2 T finely grated parmesan cheese

Preheat oven to 450F/230C. Wash mushrooms and let drain (or spin dry in salad spinner, which is what I did.) While mushrooms are drying, trim ends of beans and cut beans in half so you have bite-sized pieces. (An easy way to trim them is to gather a small handful of beans, stand them up on cutting board, holding loosely so they will fall down and have ends ends aligned, then trim. Repeat with other end.) Cut mushrooms into slices 1/2 inch thick.

Put cut beans and mushrooms into a Ziploc bag or plastic bowl. Whisk together olive oil and balsamic vinegar and pour over, then squeeze bag or stir so all the beans and mushrooms are lightly coated with the mixture. Arrange on large cookie sheet, spreading them out well so beans and mushrooms are not crowded. Roast 20-30 minutes, starting to check for doneness after 20 minutes. Cook until beans are tender-crisp, mushrooms are cooked, and all liquid on the pan from mushrooms has evaporated. Season beans to taste with salt and fresh ground pepper, then sprinkle with finely grated Parmesan. Serve hot.

This was definitely one I will remember!!

Meatloaf Cupcakes

These are a fun deviation from your "normal" family meals. Makes a fun conversation piece for a dinner party as well!!

Makes 8

1 lb Ground turkey

Bedazzled

My daughter and her bestie ( my "other" daughter from another mother) are visiting this week for spring break and yesterday we decided to do a craft day. I had seen a pair of heels that I absolutely adored, but that were over 300 dollars and then it occurred to me that I, myself could make my own, so I did. Here are the results.

Roasted Red Pepper, Carmelized Onion and Swiss Mini Quiche Brunch

Tried out a low fat sub with fat free half and half, 1st batch too squishy. Used the correct ingredients second batch a VOILA!!

For 1 dozen

2 C Whole Milk
2 C Heavy Cream
3 Lg Eggs
1/2 t fresh grated nutmeg
 salt and pepper to taste

Pie dough

1 C Grated Swiss
1 C roasted, diced Red Pepper
1/2 white onion, halved and sliced

Preheat oven to 375. Mix on low milk, cream eggs, cheese and spices. Roll out pie dough and with a biscuit cutter make 12 rounds of dough, spray tins with non stick cooking spray, place pie dough in bottom of each muffin tin. (I use 2 tins with 6 each). In a large satee' pan add onions and a 1/4 C chicken broth. let onions cook until broth is gone and onions are caramelized. Add peppers. Fill with egg mixture and spoon in desired amount of onion and peppers. DO NOT OVERFILL!!

Bake for 25 minutes until centers are set, they jiggle but a knife comes out clean. Let sit 5 minutes before serving.

My daughters best friend told me it was the best quiche she has ever had!

The Ties that Bind

So much for goal setting. The object was to post everyday, but then again, we all fall down sometimes and can't always post in the most timely of manner.

I realized the other day, after taking sometime to catch up on a popular social networking site, that a sweet friend had lost her sweet, newborn baby daughter. No words can describe her pain, and honestly in that situation, are there any words that can describe any pain that unmeasurable?

We each carry with us own own joy and our own sorrow. Both our incredibly and uniquely ours alone. How we deal with both and keep them in balance for what will define us in the end as the type of human being we chose to become in our lives and in the lives of those that surround us.

Lord knows, I know my own sorrow, moreover my joy at times.  I do know the joy as well, and I know that the people that come through us, and yes, I meant through us, throughout our lives serve their purpose in the places they hold. Some stay dear, and hold onto the spot they so carefully found and carved out to be their own in our souls, while others pass through and leave what they needed to as they do, and hopefully iin their journey, they have found what they needed in us.

Several years ago now, I came across a group of women that have found a spot in my soul, and though we do not speak to one another in a conventional manner, or even all that often, their is a binding I have found with these women that is unique and timeless and has always managed to transverse the space/time continuum. For it is this gift of that that I feel my dear friends pain, and hope that she knows, as I always have, that her losses and her joys will forever be shared.

May you always know that baby C was one of the luckiest little girls ever to be born to such a fantastic family and most especially mother.

Scrumdiddlyumptios EASY Mexicasserole

Super easy recipe that is a fantastic go to when you are pressed for time and a hearty meal!

Serves   6


1 C crushed tortilla
1/2 C re fried beans
1/2 container of southwest Philly cooking cream
1/2 C. green chiles
2 1/2 C. Shredded pork
1 Boil in a bag uncle Ben's brown rice
I Can Corn
I finely died medium tomato
1 finely diced jalapeno
3 green onions finely diced
1/2 red pepper finely diced
salt and pepper to taste
1/2 C shredded pepper jack
1/2 cup sharp cheddar

*Take a baking dish, spray with PAM cooking spray, cover bottom with tortilla chips.
*combine green chile, cooking cream, and refried beans in a skillet add warm mixture as next layer.
* Next layer evenly lay out pulled pork .
* in a skillet cook veg until soft, reserve half, then add rice and then add as nest layer
*take reserved veg and mix with corn, and top as next layer.
*top with cheeses
*bake on 375 F for 22 Minutes until cheese is melty and bubbly and the whole escarole is warmed through. I cut into 6 pieces and serve with a sprinkle of smoked paprika.

YUMMY!!

   From 'Safe Passages' By Molly Fumia

"Don't let anyone else talk you out of your grief. There will be those that urge you to move on, but that is not yet possible. You can not be persuaded to abandon  something that you have become, as you have become this profound hurt. You are waiting, and they must wait with you. You will know when your identity is again changing, when the new person, the one who has lovingly layered her pain, her healing, and her new understanding around the skeleton of her soul, is ready to emerge."

There are definitely varying stages of grief, and to think or have someone tell you that you will go them all in the proper order, is just nutty. Completely.

This is something that I hope to convey to others who have gone through the pain of loss. I, unfortunately know your pain, and I too carry it with me everyday. Sometimes with grace and others times in a messy, horrific lump. Those days are not pretty, but they do need to be talked about, just as much as the graceful days. 

After 3 years I thought I would just automatically prance into the graceful days and go on with a renewed sense of self. One of my more finer flawed moments of thought. As the time has gone on, I have found that all the pain that I have chosen to neglect and stuff in a box and throw onto a shelf has become even more achingly prevalent and washes over me more like a thief int he night now more than ever before.

"Why? Please God? Why?" This is what I plead at 3 in the morning when sleep is not my companion, yet fear, and loneliness and even sometimes reliving the whole event over again. haunt me. I just don't understand. I do not have any inkling why, all of those that have said time would become come friend, have lied to me. 

I see now, that my only choice left is to face it. Head on, with my head held high, and the dignity which  I have failed to give myself in the last several months. Instead I have given way to bouts of "checking  out" with the use of alcohol, sleep or the combination of the two, only to wake hungover and more miserable than I was when I began. I honestly believe I have done this to myself because at some point I stopped listening to what I needed and who I am, and instead splintered myself into a fragmented person of who I thought I should be.

I have finally decided to choose to find the quiet within myself, and carve out a much needed path back to the sanity I have greatly missed for such a long time now. I am still unsure of my proper direction, or even my "right" path, but I know now that the skeleton of my soul now wishes to be full again.

Little Bite Appetizer: Mini Pulled Pork Tostada's

Makes 30 Mini Bites

2 C. Pulled Pork (Recipe Follows)
1/2 Packet of taco seasoning
1/2 C. or 1 lg can of green chile
1/2 C Prepared Ranch dressing

30 Whole Grain Tostito Scoops
1/2 C Refried Beans
30 1/2 in cubes of Sharp Cheddar Cheese

1/2 C Light Sour Cream
1 Diced Roma Tomato, insides removed
1/2 Lg Jalapeno Seeds and Spines removed and finely diced
2 finely sliced green onion

* In a medium skillet slowly heat green chile and pork, once heated through turn up slightly and add taco seasoning and ranchdressing, bring to a simmer then turn to low.
* While Pork mixture is simmer assemble the Scoops by filling each scoop with 1/2 t each of refried beans and then a piece of cheese in the center.
*Assemble on cookie sheet and top with a generous heaping T of the pork mixture.
* Bake in preheated oven on 400 for 20 minutes, until crisp.
*Removed crisp tostadas, and top with sour cream, green onion and jalapeno, and serve warm.

Notes: I do not salt this dish at all because there is salt in the taco seasoning, ranch dressing and pulled pork. Also, I use a pastry bag for the sour cream to make even dollops, but if you do not have a pastry bag, you can use a sandwich baggie with a small hole cut in the corner,

ENJOY!!!

Pulled Pork

Brine:
1 C Baja Chipotle marinade
1 C Water
1/2 C Brown sugar
1/2 C Salt
3 T Smoked Paprika

* In Gallon bag combine brine ingredients. Add 2 lb pork roast.
*Brine in refrigerator for 2 days.
*Transfer, brine and all to slow cooker and cook on high for 1 hour then turn to low for 8 to 10 more.
*Remove pork roast from Crock pot and pulled apart with 2 forks. Refrigerate until ready to use, You can also freeze for up to 2 months.

Shredded Green chile Chicken Filo Pot Pie Surprise

This was an experiment ti use ingredients I had left over that needed to be used. I like to marinate my chicken for at least 2 days before slow cooking for shredding, I use about a 1/2 cup, just enough to coat the chicken. Makes it tender and gives it a nicer texture and taste! I marinate the chicken in green chile's ( I prefer 505 brand, you can get a huge jar of it at Sam's Club or Costco usually)

Serving for 2

1 Breast marinated chicken breast (boneless)
1/4 C Green Chile (not to be included in the marinade)
I pkg. Filo Dough
1/4 C EACH
Red Pepper
Red Onion
Juienned Carrots
Julienned Zucchini

1/4 C Philly Cooking cream in savory Lemon and Herb
2 eggs lightly beaten

*Simmer just the chicken and green chile on low for 40 minutes to an hour (depending on your stove top), until fork tender and shred worthy.
*Remove chicken and in reserved broth, add veggies and cream, simmer until veg is fork tender.
*Shred Chicken and return to veg/chile mix, add cooking cream
*Let simmer for 5 minutes and pull off heat to cool.
*Once cooled, add 2 lightly beaten eggs and mix thoroughly.
*While the meat mixture continues to cool you will layer the filo dough in either individual ramekins, or small loaf pans. 3 Filo layers, a layer of meat mixture, then 3 more layers of Filo, then last of the mixture.
* Fold over the over lapping dough and spray with PAM,

**Note: When layering Filo dough, spray each layer with PAM before layering.

Bake in pre-heated oven at 360 for 45 minutes. When finished, let cool (rest) for ten minutes before serving.YUM!

Sweet Pulled Chicken (Very similar to Cafe Rio Pulled pork)
2 Chicken Breasts
1/2 C. Baja Chipotle Lowery's marinade
1 C. Hunts Diced Tomatoes
1/4 C. Brown Sugar
1/4 C. Apple Cider Vinegar
1/4 C. Cream
1 T. Smoked Paprika
1 T. Chipotle Seasoning
Salt and Pepper to taste
Rough Chopped green Onions for garnish

Whisk all ingredients together on med/low heat on the stove top for 4 hours or on low in the crock pot for 6 hours fork pull and add green onions, serve over rice or potatoes or fried Polenta.

** Thank you Paul for letting me direct you!! You may make a fabulous sous chef after all!!

2 Years and 2 Months later

It has been a long, very long time since I have sat down and written anything, let alone my feelings and the things that have happened in the last 2 years. As I continue to post, I will elaborate on the things that have happened and the fears I have developed and the hurdles I have overcome, but in order to catch up, I will give a synopses for each of the last 2 years.

Condensed version of 2010

January- I moved Grammy to Mesquite and met Paul.  Matthew would have been 42. I went to visit Krissy in New Mexico, had a blast!!

February- Paul and I seem to be commuting back and forth and realizing we have a great connection. My 38th birthday..  Of course my family had a glorious celebration.


March- (Forgive me, because I get fuzzy with details of some things)
Took the girls and my Mom and I went to Grammy's to spend Easter. Enjoyed the warm weather and time playing in the pool. Week vacation in Las Vegas, half with Grandma's.

April- Jess turns 18. AJ (Matt's son) decides to go live with his brother Tony and his wife.
Spring starts to peer over the snow capped mountains. I begin grief counseling again.


May- Jess graduates from high school. I am a mess, but busy myself with Senior pictures and planning her dinner after the ceremony. I emancipate myself from my ex- husband.

June- Graduation trip with Jess. 2 days in Disneyland, then a 5 day Carnival cruise with 15 of her friends. Really fun times!!

July- Huge 4th of July family get together.

August- Getting ready for Junior year for Hayden and getting Jess moved up to her new apartment at USU. Very strange.. My family keeps getting smaller. Matt is gone, the boys are gone and now Jess has moved away to school.. Yes it is only an hour away, but feels like forever. We also celebrated Grammy's birthday, and Paul got called away on a fire.. UGH!! Good month, difficult month.

September- School starts. Grammy has decided to move to Mesquite permanently. Staying in the house with winter coming.. Seems unbearable. Weekly visits with Maurice help, and he begins to talk about thinking outside the box, and maybe looking at spending a few months in Saint George during the winter. My mom suggests having Hayden stay with her under a contract.

October- Imagine my surprise when I get an email via Facebook from my step mother, telling me I have an older brother that is looking for me, Um.. What? So I tell her to yes give him my info and he and I spent the next few weeks talking and getting to know one another. A real blessing.

November- Ugh.. The holidays again.. All in all I think they were good.. One of the things I get fuzzy about..

December- A very hard month indeed. Christmas Eve was spectacular, we went to see the matinee of "White Christmas", then Grammy took us to dinner at Rodizio. It made the day a day to remember and not one filled with pain any longer. We decided to have Christmas morning at my house, and then Breakfast at my mom's. Quiet, the original 5 but a very good day. The rest of December was the usual holiday blur..

As you can see the year was a busy one. One that upon introspect, made me a little braver and a little more frightened of the future. I DO know, that I have a fantastic family, I am truly gifted in that respect. I also know that this year was a gateway into a year that would prove to be incredibly difficult for me. The coming months would bring great elations, fond memories and terrifying discoveries. The good news is that I survived, and am here to blog about the things and the people I love and adore. I love you.

Mom- For being my rock and always telling me that you love me even when you disagree with my decisions. For being my guru, my best friend and standing tall and showing all of us how a true woman stands with grace.

Grammy- For being cheerful and wise, and knowing the right things to say and when to say them and for always making everything find that red colored splash of joy it needs.

Jess- For the day that you looked at me with your baby face and let me fall in love with you and know what true love is and will always be. For helping me see the strength and the courage when I couldn't see anything.

Hayden- For the day you were put into my arms and looked at me with those curious eyes and helped me see that love is in everyone, and you can love one just as fiercely as another. For showing me talents and strength and creativity. Hayden you have one of the most calming, loving spirits of any human being I know. Thank you for always being my voice of reason.

Both of my girls have been the life force that has seen me though some of my darker times and shown me what grace truly is when coming into the difficult part of life known as womanhood.

Paul- You came into a very difficult situation with a woman who was broken and found the light in her and continue on a daily basis to not only see her light but help her see it is well. You have given me a safe place to grieve and a calm place to fall. You are also bestowing me with a bright future, and one I am more than happy to grab hold of your hand and run into together.