A year ago.... Seems like forever ago and then at the same time it seems as if it were just yesterday.
So much, so, so much has happened. So many, er, growth opportunities?? As well as blessings.
As I looked through my last blog, before my 15 month blogging sabbatical... I of course have to go back and reflect on that time. I had just lost a friend, but also in the process of gaining a new son. My youngest daughter married her best friend of 14 years, and it was quite the epic event. They say that rain is a good omen for one's wedding day. Right. So then this marriage will be blessed exponentially, as it began with one of the most freakish, unexpected hurricane-like hail storms that had to be seen to be believed!! After a stunning, warm August day, of cooking together and making last minute preparations for the wedding, we were all upstairs and set to go. All last checks were performed, and everyone was dressed, perfectly coifed and ready to send these two down the aisle with much joy and blessings. Things could not have been more perfect. Until 5:28. Two minutes before the wedding, the skies literally opened up, and unleashed the winds of angry greek Gods, hail the size of ping pong balls, and rain that blew sideways in sheets. Did I mention this was an outdoor wedding? Yeah.
As the bridal party stood at the window on the second floor of my mothers house, for a full complete minute there was stunned silence and nobody moved as we stared in horror as the wedding guests scurried about to save the cake, gifts and decor. Thank goodness for the tent!! My daughter just stood there, rooted to the spot by the window. I calmly, put my arms around her shoulder and assured her that everything would be just fine, that this was just a small delay. My usually calm child, slowly turned to look at me, and in a low but frantic , ok, brimming on hysterical voice, said, "Mother, I can see out the window, and it is clearly NOT OKAY!!" The next thing I heard from one of the glorious bridal party was, "Does anyone have a Xanax?" Sigh..
As quickly as the torrential downpour began, it ended. Everything was placed back in its rightful place (after of course all the linens took a tumble in the dryer), and the blown sound system was replaced with an albeit, slightly ghetto work around (my mothers car pulled up on the side yard, doors opened and phones plugged in for MP3 usage), the wedding turned out beautiful, the sun came out, and guests, although slightly damp, were placated with warm food, and the rest of the evening was gorgeous!
After the wedding, 3 weeks later, we lost Paul's brother in law. We drove to Sacramento, and Paul did his best to console her. There is really nothing more to say. Because we don't understand death, it feels as though a thief in the night comes to steal the lives that we had grown accustomed to. However, that being said, I have learned to never underestimate the possibility that there can be a whole new life waiting for you.
The end of September brought a magical adventure in the caribbean. After a gruelling overnight, many plane change, 17 hours of travel, we drank in the sights, and sounds of Grand Cayman. Both of us exhausted, you could not quell the anticipation of the oncoming adventure. We took a taxi to a nearby resort/shopping area, to have real food and find some wifi to let our loved ones know we had arrived. After that we met some of our friends that we were vacationing with back at the airport to wait for our final flight to Cayman Brac. When it was time to board, all I could do was gape at the roller skate with wings that was supposed to take us on our last leg of travel. Ugh.. Heights and small planes are not this girls idea of a good time. We boarded and my sweet paramour let me sit by the window so I may be distracted by the magnificent views the caribbean had to offer!! Totally worked, before I knew it, we had landed at our destination, grabbed our rental van, and drove on the completely wrong side of the road to where we would be staying.
Here's the funny thing about that trip... Even with 5 people, in a fairly small space, cooking together, and all the things that go with that.. We managed to lay in a hammock together on our own private beach staring at the stars, having coffee on our private balcony watching the sun rise over the water.. Experiencing snorkeling, then scuba diving together.. The things that dreams and fairy tales are made of. The things that some relationships need to have to sustain them through some darker times, so that the light can once again be found and the love reborn. Due to work, I headed home a week before the rest of the gang, but through technology, was able to video chat with my sweet every night. Soon he was home and Halloween was right around the corner..
Work tensions grew, and I knew it was time for a change.. I had been applying since August at various places and the timing just wasn't working out. Lesson # 3 million and something that God is in control, not me. After months of praying and sobbing, and angst, and being met with "Be still".. My prayers were very ironically answered. I had been leaning into my past.. my history.. the experience I only knew how to draw from, and what I had been praying for was CHANGE. Dramatic, jaw dropping, life altering.. CHANGE.. Be careful what you pray for. Change was on its way, in the oddest, fastest form. One I would have never dreamed possible. I had just had a second interview with a maxillofacial practice, that I had felt went swimmingly well. I went to work at the bank and got a call from a retirement community I had submitted a resume to. On a whim a few weeks prior I had applied for a chef position. Cooking is something I have always loved and had gotten quite good at, and had put out in the universe I would like to try my hand at professionally. The call came from the new executive chef they had recently hired and he was asking me to come in that afternoon. So, I asked my boss at the bank if I could take my lunch break and go to the interview. He agreed. So off I went to the interview(in my bank uniform, no less). As I sat in the reception area, all decorated for Christmas and watched the sweet residents milling about, I felt at peace and oddly like I was "home". Then, to my complete and utter disbelief, out walks one of my customers from the bank, with another man I had not met. We went into the director's office. I had no idea this customer of mine was running the show over there! We exchanged pleasantries and talked about my very small body of experience in the professional cooking arena. The executive chef asked me some basic cooking questions and asked how I would feel about cooking for large groups of people, by myself. I didn't even think about it, and said I would LOVE it!! I felt the interview went well, and was asked by the community director to call him that evening after I had finished my shift at the bank. I did, and he offered me the job, and I went to pick up my new hire paperwork. In the snow. You have to understand, I moved to the desert to get away from the snow and here we were, right smack dab in time for Christmas with a record breaking snow storm in little Saint George, UT. So into the weather I trudge to acquire a rather large packet of new hire paperwork, with an invitation to bring it back the following day. Daunting, but not undoable. At he last minute on Saturday morning, I decided to make my 2 specialties, mac and cheese and meatloaf for my soon to be new boss!! Wahoo!! Worked and I now found myself employed as a chef..
Dreams continually come true as spring springs forward and with it brings 2 more gifts. The opportunity to cater an event for a local art gallery featuring artists of Zion National park, and with it my oldest daughter Jessica who volunteered her time to come and help! Not only did we enjoy the time spent together being together and important event for my fledgling little catering company, but she also brought news of a young man.. Benjamin Merrill, her anatomy TA, turned handsome young man that took her on creative dates, fiance' to new husband with whom she will be making the best memories with!! It was a stunning wedding, and surrounded by love, a little rain, and lots of hair and make up.. But seriously, 2 weddings in 2 years. 2 daughters marrying the loves of their lives.. Can you really ask for anything more??
Lest we not forget the blessing of September.. Another catering event, and another opportunity with my Hayden girl. Cooking, organizing and filling the kitchen with love.
So we begin a new year. New hopes, new dreams, and may unknowns.. I've been searching over the last few weeks for my new word for the new year, and I keep coming back to forgiveness. Forgiveness for myself and for others.
I forgive myself for the things over the past year I have not had control over and of the things that I did, but chose a growth opportunity perhaps instead of making a wiser decision. I choose each new day to make healthier, wiser decisions for myself, and those I love. Thank you for your blessings 2014. That said, I sure am happy to see you 2015!!
